How Language Can Protect Your Mental Health
How Language Can Protect Your Mental Health
Social isolation. Work-from-home burnout.
Public health-related stress. Political upheaval. If the past year has taught
us anything, it’s that mental health matters and has become a central issue for
many. But that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily become easier to talk about.
In fact, according to Dr. Maysa Akbar, a
clinical psychologist and chief diversity officer at the American Psychological
Association, there’s another health crisis looming: the deterioration of mental
health. She cites the compounding effects of the pandemic as
well as ongoing racial reckoning in the US as among the major factors. While
mental health doesn’t always feel easy to talk about, it’s become a more common
concern; a longstanding historical stigma against open discussion of mental
health issues is waning.
“The data shows talking through our most
difficult times, engaging in therapy, having conversations that are openly
expressing the amount of psychological stress we’re going through . . . lead to
healthier ways of engaging with our communities, our families, and our work,”
Dr. Akbar says. Indeed, being upfront about what you’re going through helps
normalize and destigmatize these issues. Through the pandemic, these issues
have become more common—and therefore more relatable—than ever.
Strike the right tone
Grammarly helps you
communicate the way you intend
With that in mind, here are a few expert-approved approaches to
having these conversations:
How to request support
When asking for help, framing the conversation
with language the other person can easily relate to is a useful way to ensure
you’re heard. For example, here are a few openings Dr. Akbar suggests using:
·
I need your support
right now.
·
I’m really struggling.
·
I’m having a hard time
with X.
·
This is a really tough
time for me.
“It’s sometimes easier to be able to describe
what’s happening with you . . . than to open the conversation with a
description of a mental health problem that people may have sensitivity to or
may not understand,” says Dr. Akbar. “Stick to what you’re struggling with and
what you would want from that person. Most people would be able to connect with
that.”
How to ask for space
Spending more time with your partner and
family members used to be a common goal—but social distancing has made seeing
only those in your household mandatory. And being confined with someone for
long periods of time can lead to tension in even the healthiest relationships.
“It’s OK to say, ‘this is a lot and maybe we
need to find ways to replenish ourselves individually,’” says Dr. Jessica L.
Provines, a licensed psychologist and director of Counseling and Prevention
Services at Wichita State University. It can feel intimidating to bring it up,
she notes, but it’s ultimately better to bring it up before things become a
bigger deal than they need to.
“It’s important to not blame others for what
we’re dealing with, but rather to share how you’re feeling and ask for what you
need directly,” she adds.
Spending some time on your own can help you
return to these important relationships in a more emotionally balanced,
appreciative mindset.
>>Read More: How College Students Can Effectively
Communicate Boundaries
How to address feelings of burnout
With so many people working remotely
throughout the pandemic, individuals have been spending more time than ever at
home glued to screens as many of their interactions happens virtually. For many,
work has become a welcome distraction from the lack of outlets outside the
home. Therefore it’s no wonder that a number of people are struggling with burnout.
Asking for what you need to succeed is a great place to start combating that effect, says Dr. Regine Muradian, a clinical
psychologist based in Southern California. Here are a couple of phrases she
suggests:
When there’s wiggle-room in your deadlines
What to say: I’d love to get this done for you. I can have this to you
by [TIME] on [DAY].
Why it works: You can establish a boundary that doesn’t
require you to cut into non-work hours. And, it sets expectations.
When you have a hard deadline
What to say: I have a lot on my plate right now and it would help me if
I could get X. If I get X, I’ll be able to do Y.
Why it works: You can ask for what you need while
providing an incentive (like maintaining a high level of quality in your work).
“It’s always important to be transparent and
honest without putting yourself down and devaluing the work you can do,” adds
Dr. Muradian.
>>Read More: Rethinking Our Self-Care Wins During the Pandemic
How to navigate triggering speech
Triggering comments (often made
unintentionally) touch on a person’s trauma and negatively impact them in the
moment. For example, someone who has depression may feel anger or anxiety when
they hear someone say the condition is somehow a result of weakness—a sentiment
that keeps people from getting help and places blame on those in need of it.
When triggering language comes up, addressing
it can feel overwhelming. But doing so can lead to productive conversations and
a deeper understanding of your experience by a friend or family member.
Here are a couple of useful options for
approaching these conversations:
What to say at the moment:
Direct approach: I’m not prepared to have this conversation
right now.
Deflecting: That’s interesting [and then change the
subject].
Why they work: The direct approach makes it clear that the
topic is something upsetting or off-putting to you and establishes a boundary.
The deflecting technique moves the conversation onto something else if you
aren’t comfortable or want time to think about what you want to say.
What to say after the fact: Start with something positive about the
relationship, then discuss the triggering event and how it made you feel, and
close with another positive and how they can help you going forward. For
example: “I always appreciate how open and honest you are with me. But when you
said X, it made me feel Y. I really value your friendship, and it would really
help me if you could do Z in the future.”
If you find that you don’t have the benefit of
a strong support system, there are things you can do to handle a triggering
experience, says Dr. Akbar. Simple things, like taking a deep breath, counting
to ten, or reciting a personal affirmation, for instance, are valuable tools.
But the best thing to do is to identify what your triggers are in the first
place. That way, you’ll be prepared if it happens again.
Related Readings
顺当-明朗精神心理健康讲座
In promoting mental health, especially of the youth in our community, MLCCC proudly offered a series of Mental Wellness Classes designed to educate both youth and parents of the MLCCC community. May is Mental Health Month, and we are pleased to publish all five sessions in their entirety to a greater audience.
This series has also offered the following-up discussion between the session with behavioral practices and exploration of strategies to promote mental and emotional wellbeing as an individual and community members.
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